B U R R !

Its funny how I think I found something new in someone else but it’s only a matter of time that, that something new was merely a mistake. You sat here and said that you weren’t here to hurt me and that you wouldn’t do me wrong, but somehow I think that was miscommunication. As soon as I let all my insecurities and guards down completely I end up being in a situation that I tried to avoid. Now I can’t stop questioning you or this thing we call a relationship. I can’t help but think that you, the person that I thought had my best interest at heart, doesn’t. You didn’t have to lie to me – I was the one person that you didn’t have to lie to. I never asked for you to lie to me or sugar coat anything – but this is what happened to me in the past, I’m more open to sharing my self with others then they are with me. You would think that I would learn but stupid me I haven’t learned a bit. But of course you know all about my past. You know of all the bullshit I’ve been through. You even said it yourself; you know why I push you away you know why I act how I act, so why would you out of all people not tell me the truth. You can’t just say sorry and expect my feelings to go back to what they were. You can’t expect me to not question you and your intentions. My mindset is back to what it was in the beginning – which was fucked up. All the progress I had made and the progress I am making is out the door and I am now back at square one, where I didn’t want to be and I don’t know how or when to start again.